Goldfish

It's supposed to get near freezing tonight so I had to dump out the fish tank on the back porch and put the outside goldfish in with the rest of my tropical fish. They should be ok but the goldfish are such bullies. I bought them originally to balance the PH of the tank so I wouldn't lose any other fish. Goldfish are nearly impossible to kill. That turned out to be a bit of a problem because now I keep another tank for the goldfish which are still alive after a year. Now I don't really know what to do with them. I know they're feeder goldfish which normally don't live but I can't bring myself kill them or just let them die. They're too small to eat anyway. I don't want to let them loose in the nearby holding pond because there is every possibility they could get into the wild and procreate. It's tempting to let them loose in the lake at a nearby park where people might appreciate them, but then again people might really not appreciate that. What do you do with unwanted fish? I understand this is the same dilemma faced by alligator owners, and probably the reason it is said there are alligators in the New York sewers. So next time you're thinking of buying goldfish or baby alligators, make sure you know what you are going to do with them for the rest of their lives.

Why I Don't Like Winter

I was born in Florida for a very good reason: so I wouldn't have to put up with cold weather. I was just about ready to write to my congressman to complain when the weather got nice again last week. I was out jogging in swimming trunks in mid-November just to revel in the fact that I could. It was beautiful weather yesterday, and today it's getting near freezing.

I also love the sunlight. There is an innate need to get at least some sun in most people. Your body needs to have sunlight to make compounds that keep you happy. It's commonly reported that people who don't see the sun enough tend to get depressed. I realized last weekend that I hadn't seen the sun all week. I see it for a few seconds as I rush out the door to my car, then spend all day inside at a computer. My monitor probably gives me a bit of a tan, but it's not the good kind. By the time I leave work, it's already pitch black out. I hate driving home from work in the dark. It feels like I lost the whole day and don't get any time to myself at home. I can't wait for spring again. I miss the pool.

Finally a Warm Day!

I have been going to the pool nearly every day for the past couple of weeks. Each time I dip my foot in, I shudder at the thought of getting into such freezing water, and jump in the hot-tub instead. I realize it is late October, and most of the world never gets as warm as it is right now. Still, I miss the warmth of summer and I really have been missing the swimming.

Today was a refreshing break from the cool, rainy weather. It felt like spring again, and the skies were a perfect blue. After a nice, long bike ride, I finally got to get that cool swim I have been craving. Then the sun went behind the trees and I had to run back inside because it got so much colder. I hope this weather lasts.

The First Chill of Fall

This weekend there was a shift in the atmosphere. I felt a change in the air over a month ago that told me Summer was ending and Fall was very near. It's strange to think I can feel that, just like the animals around me always do, but I always can just sense these changes. Today it was almost too cold to swim and there was a chill in the air. Autumn has arrived.

I feel so strange right now. The whole atmosphere of the world is changing. I want to think it's the natural balance of things, and this is just a change in seasons. But I feel deeper changes in the atmosphere. It stirs up my heart and makes me uneasy. I always feel somewhat sad when summer ends and Fall begins. Autumn is the twilight season when life begins to store up and hide away. The warmth and life of summer fades like the drifting shadows of dusk.

I like the warmth, I love the sun. I don't want to see the cold return. In so many ways I feel my life changing. I don't know how or why just yet, but I feel change in the works. It's exciting but also hard. I'm so tired as it is, worn down in every way. I don't want to think about picking up and starting over again. Life is an adventure, but sometimes it makes me wish I had a warm, peaceful rest. I don't want to wander forever. I want a home.