Falling Off the Treadmill of Life

I got sick a week or so ago and had to take the whole week to rest and do nothing in order to recover. I have found that when I stop everything (usually when I'm sick) it is really hard to get moving again. I feel sluggish and have no energy, and can barely find the strength to just get through work. Last night I walked in the door and collapsed into bed. Next thing I knew, I woke up and it was around 9 PM and I was starving.

Today I decided I HAD to get to the gym to get some energy moving. When you work out your metabolism gets working again and you start making energy. Yes you have to burn energy to get more. I hopped on the exercise machine and started moving. I went at a very slow pace and it took a lot of effort to move the wheels. Each step was an arduous process but I made myself do it. Then I started moving faster and got up to a full sprint. As my speed got higher, the resistance actually got much easier. It was so easy to keep going once I was moving fast. It was the very first steps that were the toughest.

I have found it is the same way with life. I need to back off and rest sometimes or I will collapse or get really sick. But it's very hard to get moving from a standstill. I just have to power through it for a while before the momentum builds and I find myself running again.

A Break From Blogging

You may have noticed I took a bit of a break from blogging for a while. Sometimes life just gets too crazy and we need to stop for a while and rest. I feel like I have been juggling so many things with work, my personal life, and even myself. I can juggle a lot, but sometimes it just gets overwhelming. I have to drop a few balls or everything will come crashing down on me. Now that I have things a bit more under control, I am trying to pick the pieces back up again.

Stagnant

The other night I unplugged the filter in the fish tank in my room because it was making strange noises. Without the constantly flowing filtration, the water quickly grew stagnant. This morning as I walked by, it was actually starting to smell bad. I had to drop everything and change the water, then get the filter going again. It was a lot of work but I knew the fish would all die if I didn't do it.

It really reminded me how quickly life in general can go downhill if you don't constantly stay on top of it. I spent almost all weekend cleaning the house and taking care of little things that just needed to be done. I never realized how much work has to be done just to keep up with life. But if you fall behind, your whole life starts to stagnate and slip into a rut. I have to keep reminding myself of this each time I go to work out when I feel too tired to move. I know if I let myself slip, I won't ever have the energy to do anything. My work is draining enough as it is, so I have to do everything I can to keep the momentum.

Overwhelmed

Have you ever had just too much on your plate? It seems like in my life everything tends to gang up on me at once, until it just gets overwhelming. I can juggle so much at once, but sometimes it just takes one last thing to throw into the mix and it just becomes too much. I know everything will be ok and I'm not losing it. I'm just spent. I just don't have energy for anything else. I'm just shutting down for the day and shutting everyone and everything out. I'm rebooting, and tomorrow everything will be back to normal. I'll pick everything back up and keep going as if nothing ever happened.

Return to College

I went back to FSU campus tonight and had a great time hanging out with some friends who just started a class there. I went out on the field in the middle of campus and found myself asked to join a game of ultimate frisbee. I got out on the field and naturally was the team that went skins. We took our shirts off so we could easily be told apart from the other team...

And I realized how much I stuck out from the perfectly fit athletic frat guys. I've been out of college for 2 years and worked in 2 office jobs. I've packed on what could be considered a bit of chub, and it especially stood out in contrast to the other guys. To make matters worse, they were all incredibly good at frisbee. They had perfect strategies and formations, and ran all over the place without breaking a sweat. And I was winded after about 5 downs. I feel so old already and I'm only 24. Life seems to just come at us too fast. I wish I could slow down and just live in the moment, but I don't have time for that. There's too much to do.

Eating Somewhere New

So today I went to lunch and decided to try something new for food. I habitually eat at the same restaurant and at a certain point your body just gets tired of the same thing over and over. It took me about 3-4 months, but it's starting to hit me. So I decided to walk across the parking lot to Firehouse Subs.

They were PACKED. College kids lined up in a line out the door, all over the inside. The walls were all glass and it somehow made me think of a fish tank filled to the brim with people. There was something so inhuman about the look of it.

Naturally since I didn't want to spend my whole lunch break in line, I went back to the restaurant I always eat at. Maybe next time...

When Work Clouds The Life

I work at a small business which I love, but it's very demanding. If I were at a big company there would be at least 3-5 people doing my job. Even in my company there used to be 3 people doing my job. I barely have time to finish all my tasks even when I give it 100% and buzz through the work at breakneck speeds. It leaves me pretty exhausted. And when I get home, I find myself watching training videos to make me more valuable at work. It's so hard to balance life and work sometimes.